Rant in the Key of Regret

Too much time has passed in my life without achievement. Sometimes this becomes all too much. I lose faith. I’m tired of being guided by voices only I can hear. There is so much noise in this world it is easy for voices to get lost. Mine did, for a while. I thought for a long time things were serious, I had to focus. I was wrong.

Father time has too much interest in seeing me grow up and Mother Nature cursed me with her bad side. Walking in the dark for so long took its toll. The Wilderness. I was trapped in the dark. I regret letting things slip by me. I was blind...now I see through that amazing grace. Failure was something I thought I was ready for. I wasn’t. I don’t even know the meaning of the word. I can’t do any worse than doing nothing.

The moments of waiting are behind me. I regret waiting this long before starting the long journey of finding my voice. If I have to shout I will. If I have to scream I will. Ready for failure, ready for loss.

Being born at 25 with nothing is late...but it’s not the end.

My Notebook

My notebook hangs heavy in my pocket,

the one thing that knows all of my lies.

The one thing that hears my confessions,

my secrets,

my dreams.

All the things I should have said and couldn’t muster nerve to.

I haven’t said anything to it lately.

My silent friend,

now my worst enemy.

It needs my stories, my confessions.

Without them it is my worst enemy.

Its pages taunt me.

I remove it from my pocket and open it,

blank lines staring my at me with murderous intent.

I look at them and offer all I can,

an apology to its pages.

The lack of attention.

I close it, hold its leather to my face,

The smell that reminds me of better times.

I close it and slip it back into my pocket.

I can’t face it today.

The Journey

It took me a long time to get here.

Just to stand here with you is the end

To a journey I can’t begin to explain.

Looking at you, holding your hand,

Which you lightly squeeze I know

I don’t need to explain.

My breath is light and sharp.

Your secret name haunts

My lips.

Dreams

You won’t see me.

My head is down and my eyes are fixed to

the floor following a point where my

Dreams live.

I’ll keep walking with them just in front of me

And hope I don’t bump into anyone.

If I do, I am sorry.

I can’t usually see where I’m going because

My dreams are worth following

and sometimes forget that things

happen outside of them.

If I distract you from your dreams

Why don’t you join me and

Follow mine for a while.

You are welcome

Forever

I think I am ready to let go of the pain

Of what we were,

And embrace the joy of you.

Your Brilliance.

No one will ever know what we lost,

the twilight sadness of something

we once had,

now dimmed forever.

I was given a moment of what being complete

felt like,

I was too close to the sun and my wings began

to melt.

The day I knew it was over was the worst,

Much worse than the weeks that followed and

Then the end.

I’m sorry I couldn’t give you the

Forever I promised.

It is was promise I never intended to break.

I hope someone will keep it.