From my window

From my window
i hear no noise.
Voices don't carry this high,
and eyes dont climb
to where i sit.
The world moves as
if by direction.
Driving, walking running,
with a greater purpose.
That doesn't happen to me.
From my window everyday
is dreary,
doors opening, closing,
birds flying,
with each moment aging
without existing.
All the things i see from
my window
create a moving picture
of my life.
Each moment as disjointed as
the last,
passing landmarks of my being.
As i near the end

If i could say the words

If i could say the words
you needed to hear
when you wanted them
i might have you here,
and not just the memory of
your face,
your touch.

If i could say the words
burned in my mind
i wouldn't be alone
trying to recall our conversations
forgotten by you
and everyone else.

Confession

This is my confession
a testement to the horrors of humanity.
Words of one who has loved and lost
and one who has failed to act
one who watched desire and hope
slip away
leaving nothing but the ashes
of my memory

Some Morning Nightmare

The train picks up speed as it leaves the station.
The parents get settled and the children create mayhem.
And old man looks in disgust as they nudge by his paper.
A strange figure sits alone, watching, a curious smile on plays on his lips.

The train jerks and rattles as it reaches maximum throttle.
A child falls and cries, the mother reassures.
One young couple laugh nervously.
How could anyone be comfortable?

The next station looms, people prepare to leave.
The train ignores the sign; it’s on its own mission now.
The crowd grows weary.
The train gets faster.

Lights flicker, another sudden jolt.
The children stop playing; look for safety in their parents coats.
The young couple are closer now, no smiles.
Why is this happening?

The train approaches an arc in the track.
Tears join the party.
Everyone united in one single fear.
Apart from him

The smile is still on his lips and he thinks

“Will I survive again?”

Ride The Bus

The bus leaves and I remain,
No direction to go, no transport needed.
The people who ride the bus are lucky.
They have a purpose, if only for a short time.
The freedom given from the purchase of a ticket,
Is something overlooked by most people
To be moving in any direction for only a short time
Is a reprieve from the stillness.
When only thoughts have their way.

Loss

The city lights spread out like
Pin pricks in the black.
A city as void as my soul
As my gaze.
A city so corrupt it can only know horror
Pain
Loss

11 Questions

Can we find an order to it all?
Is there one to find?
Why do we give ourselves a purpose?
Is it just a way to pass the time?
Or is there a higher purpose?
Something other than gravity which holds us to this world,
That gives meaning to our most pointless tasks.
Are all our relations designed to be so fragile?
Does this challenge us, test us?
If we had nobody there wouldn’t be any problems.
But there wouldn’t be any purpose at all.
Are other people our purpose?
If this is true, why are all of our miseries brought on by other people.
The way someone acts, what someone says?
If joy can only be brought on by interaction, is disappointment also?
If we could seek joy in solitude, what problems could arise?

Boredom

Words removed, a fresh start?
Is it that easy?
Changing what is deeply ingrained
The habit of a lifetime
Bordem absovled
Assimilated
Its hard when all the easy options are there before me
But are not usually the right ones
When doing something seems like a waste of time
And doing nothing is the only way to spend it
Maybe i am used to nothing
Inside am nothing

Watch Her While She Sleeps

She Sleeps so soundly
I could watch her forever
Her breath draws me in Sets a rhythm for the night
The night is fleeting I never want it to end
The clock is ticking
Time knows the power it holds
To take away what i want most
The second hand mocks me I get lost, confused
I place my hand over her mouth
Her breathing stifled
Only the noise of the clock
Second hand ticking, mocking
Your chest stops moving
At peace
Time cannot touch you now
You will sleep for me
Forever